Not Enough
by fadedelegance
Summary: Connie has returned to New York City. What will happen when she and Mike reunite?


**Disclaimer:**** Dick Wolf and NBC own "Law and Order". I don't. (Unfortunately. LOL) **

**A/N:**** I've written my own series of fics based on my own head!canon/alternate universe, in which I don't acknowledge the thankfully short-lived spin-off that was "Law and Order: LA". I tried, people. I really did. But it just didn't interest me in the slightest. What drew me into "L+O" and "L+O: SVU" are the characters. Yeah, the plots, but the characters first and foremost. Honestly, the way I work is, if you can't make me care about your characters, you have no chance in hell of making me care about your show, your play, your movie, or your book. If I don't care about your characters, why would I care about what happens to them? That's the way I look at it. To be brutally honest, I found the characters on "L+O: LA" to be boring as hell. The whole show was just so blasé to me. I thought it was so half-assed and that it didn't do justice to the franchise AT ALL. So that was the first reason I was desperately hoping it would just go away and be cancelled.**

** The second reason is because NBC didn't give "Law and Order" a proper send-off. I had so many questions about the characters that I wanted answers to. But no, we can't have closure, can we, NBC? We can't have, for example, an awesome 2-hour series finale that keeps us on the edge of our seats and does justice to what is not only one of the most iconic crime shows, but also one of the longest-running shows ever to hit television. We just had to settle for some boring, half-assed spin-off instead. **

** The third reason I hated "L+O: LA" was because they put Connie on there. I'm sorry, but the reason they gave for it was a cop-out. Connie had a great life in New York. She's really sweet, so she probably had a lot of friends, she had a great and very prestigious job, she had coworkers she really got along with, she had a trusted mentor in Jack, and, in Mike a sweet man who completely adored her. Plus, she had family in California. If I were one of Connie's siblings, I'd have our mom move in with me. I wouldn't expect my sister to uproot herself by just dropping everything and moving all the way across the country because that wouldn't be fair to her. I'd be right there in California already, so I'd step up. And another thing, you are not a callous, unfeeling person for putting your parent in a nursing home. You are not dumping them like yesterday's garbage. If you know you can't give them what they need, how are you in the wrong by surrounding them with nurses and other people who CAN give them the care they need? My great-grandmother was in one, and she wasn't alone. My grandmother and her siblings (and my mom and uncles) visited her. She had dementia and congestive heart failure. Her children wanted her to get the best care she could. You are not evil for putting an ailing parent in a nursing home. You do it because you know you can't provide for them the way need to be provided for. And, I'm pretty sure that that is what most families in situations like that do. So sorry—that was just a cop-out reason to me. I saw that as nothing more than a feeble attempt by NBC to save their failing spin-off. They were in denial about the fact that a large amount of Mothership fans hated it, so they just figured that if they put a Mothership character on there, fans would just forgive them and accept the spin-off, despite how poorly done it was. They thought that if they did that, everything would suddenly just be all sunshine and rainbows with their fanbase. I saw right through that. (And I'm sure I'm not the only fan who did!) **

** I would not have done what NBC did. They screwed their really good show with a REALLY BAD show. I may have watched, at most, 3 episodes before I finally just gave up because I was bored stiff and utterly unimpressed. (And when I found out what they did with Connie, I was very disappointed—and annoyed because I knew what they were doing.) **

** I was thrilled when I learned it'd finally been cancelled! I could swear it only made it past the pilot episode because, again, NBC was in denial. But ha ha, NBC. Ha ha. LOL It's called karmic retribution. That's what you get for screwing the Mothership and pissing off your fans. Your blasé, half-assed spin-off crashes and burns. Like I said before, I created my own storyline for what happened after "L+O" ended, and I WILL share those with you guys. But this idea has been nagging me for a while. I normally pretend "L+O: LA" never existed, but my muse has been bugging me to write this as a second way of telling NBC to shove it. LOL This is me cleaning up their mess—well, part of it. If I think of a way to clean up the rest of it, then I'll write it. But this was just the easiest thing to fix. Sorry for the essay, but I felt an explanation was needed. **

**This is dedicated to DaisyDay, LTP-girl, and ViveLaDevochka. I love you guys! Abby**

**Not Enough**

_I should go back to Manhattan_

_I've got a prince who's waiting in a castle downtown_

_-Norah Jones, "Back to Manhattan"_

Connie couldn't ever remember feeling so nervous about entering One Hogan Place—except maybe her first day ever working as an ADA.

She took a deep breath in an attempt to calm herself. She felt restless, and her heart was pounding.

What would he think when he saw her? Clearly, she was surprising him. Would he like the surprise?

What would he think when she told him he was one of the reasons she was back? What would he say?

She'd been lost in thoughts about how their reunion would play out from the moment she'd stepped onto the plane back to New York City, to the moment she got on the elevator at One Hogan Place.

She jumped, startled, when the elevator gave a 'ding!', signaling her arrival at the proper floor.

She took another deep, calming breath, released it slowly, and then stepped off the elevator.

Just the previous day, when she'd interviewed with the new D.A. for an opening he had, she'd walked past the Executive ADA office, as well as the office adjacent to it, which used to be hers. Both were now occupied by people she'd never heard of but would probably be meeting at some point or another. As she'd glanced briefly into each office's windows, mixed feelings had overcome her. She'd felt happy and grateful for all the good memories she had of working in the Homicide Division. It'd certainly been a crazy ride at times, but hell, it'd all been worth it. She'd also felt a bit sad and nostalgic. Part of her still asked why fate had had to take everything and flip it on its ass. Her, him, and Jack prosecuting murderers…She'd secretly referred to the three of them as 'the dynamic trio'—and, to her, they always would be.

Seeing somebody else in the office that felt like it'd been made for Jack had just been odd, off-putting. The new D.A. was definitely going to take some getting used to. He was a nice guy, she wasn't denying that.

…But she also wasn't denying the fact that he clearly wasn't Jack.

_But he gave you a job, so you have to give him at least a little bit of credit,_ she thought to herself.

She glanced at the D.A.'s office before rounding the corner to where the Special Victims Division was located. She took another deep, calming breath.

She realized she must've been lost in thought again because she jumped when a surprised voice said, "Connie?"

Connie turned.

"Oh my goodness—Casey!" she said, also surprised to see her former coworker from the White Collar Crimes Division, Casey Novak. "How are you, are you back in Special Victims? I haven't spoken to you in so long!"

"I know, it's been forever!" said Casey. "Well, to cut a long story short, the Bar kicked me in the ovaries so to speak, but thankfully, they didn't yank my license. I practiced in Buffalo for a little while just to try to help my reputation, and then last year, I asked to come back, and McCoy was cool with it, so…here I am!"

Connie felt a pang of sadness at the mention of Jack. She would have to get together with him—buy him a scotch or two to thank him for helping her get back into the D.A.'s office. Plus, she just enjoyed talking to and had missed her favorite mentor. She made a mental note to call him.

"I have a hearing I've got to get to, but we definitely need to get together and get caught up!" said Casey.

"Oh, definitely!" Connie agreed. "We'll talk!"

"For sure!" Casey agreed. "Good to see you, Connie!"

"You, too!" Connie said.

The two of them exchanged smiles and then Casey rounded the corner quickly, a file folder tucked under her arm.

Connie's heart immediately began to race again.

She walked a bit further and noticed a black sign with white letters hanging on the wall. At the top were the words "Special Victims Division". A list of all the prosecutors who worked there and their office numbers followed.

Thankfully, the list was alphabetical.

Janelle Anderson…Cassandra Blake…Alexandra Cabot (_Oh, she's back? I'll have to talk to her, too,_ Connie thought.) … Roger Clark—

Connie's heart leapt in her chest when she spotted his name: Michael Cutter. She saw that his office was at the end of the hallway.

When she reached his office, Connie peered through the window. There he sat at his desk, reading a file. He was idly tossing his baseball from one hand to the other. His sleeves were rolled up, and his tie was undone.

Connie melted. She had to just stare at him for a little bit. She couldn't help herself.

And there she was—and there he was. All that stood in their way now were windows and a door.

Connie took what felt like her ten thousandth deep, calming breath and knocked on his door, her heart pounding.

"Come in!" she heard him call.

Slowly but surely, Connie placed her hand on the door handle and entered the room, closing the door behind her.

At the sight of her, Mike's heart began to race. He immediately set down his baseball and stood up, softening completely.

"Connie…"

"Mike…Hi," Connie said softly, just as overjoyed to see him as he was to see her.

Mike walked around his desk, so that it was no longer between them.

"Hi," he said sweetly. "Connie—what brings you back here? Are you visiting? How come you didn't tell me?"

"No, Mike—I'm not visiting," Connie said tenderly. "I didn't tell you because I wanted to surprise you…I'm back. I'm home."

Mike was pleasantly surprised. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"But—but your mother…" he said.

"She's the one who told me to come back."

"Really?"

"Yes…After—after the last time you and I Skype chatted, she said she wanted to talk to me. I asked her what she needed, and she said, 'Consuela—you're not happy. You haven't been happy since you arrived', and I said, 'Mom—what do you mean?' And she said, 'Exactly what I said—you're not happy here', and I said, 'But Mom—you're here. And I'm here _for_ you. Plus, I've got a job…and everybody's here…and I've gotten to spend time with all of you, as well as with friends from high school and college…And it's not like I have no way of communicating with anyone from New York'. And she said, 'Your company has meant the world to me. I have just loved having you here because I don't get to see you very often. But darling, I mean it—you are not happy. You have a job, but your colleagues aren't good to you. You always keep in touch and see us on holidays, so it's not as though you're shutting us out…You made many great friends in New York, as well as many great memories. And people were good to you there…Being a lawyer in New York has been your dream ever since you were old enough to know what it means'…"

"Is that true?" Mike asked her.

"Yes," said Connie. "It's the only job I've ever wanted."

Mike found her words moving.

"What else did your mother say to you?" he asked.

"She said, 'Ever since you made that dream a reality, I have been so happy for you. You have made your father and I _so_ proud'…And then she said, 'Yes, you have a way of contacting those you care about back in New York, but it is written all over your face: that is not enough…Again, I have loved having you here. But Consuela, you have built such a great life for yourself there. I should never have let you uproot yourself. You need to go back'…And I said, 'Mom—what about you?' And she said, 'You are my daughter. What I care about more than anything is your well-being—your happiness. So what you can do for me—what I _want_ you to do for me—is go back to New York'…" Connie replied.

She suddenly found herself choked up. She blinked back the tears that were blurring her vision.

Mike just wanted to hold her close.

"And then she said, 'Go be happy, Consuela. Go back to New York—go back home'…So I did," Connie then said, wiping her eyes.

Mike nodded, a loving, concerned expression on his handsome face.

Connie sighed.

"She was right. She was absolutely right—this is my home," she said. "My siblings and I all got in touch with each other and her. My older brother Umberto lives in Lancaster. It's not that far outside of L.A. He's going to move her in with him. We also decided that we're going to put in her in a nursing home if she gets worse—if living with one of us becomes more of a hindrance to her than a help. We all just want her to have the best care, whatever that is. We just want what's best for her."

"I understand. That's what I'd want for my mother, too," said Mike. "So…how long have you been back?"

"A little over a week," Connie replied. "I made sure to make all the arrangements and stuff in advance, you know…I sent my resume to the new D.A., and Jack put in a very good word for me."

"So you'll be working here again?" Mike asked, very happy.

"Yes," Connie said, nodding.

She smiled.

"Where?" asked Mike.

"White Collar Crimes," Connie replied. "It's where I first started."

"That's wonderful…" Mike said softly, overjoyed.

Connie could tell how happy he was. She was very moved.

"So have you found a place to live?" Mike asked.

"Yes, actually. I gave my old landlord a call and asked if he had any vacancies. Thankfully, he did, and I told him I was moving back, and he said I was always a really good tenant, so I was more than welcome to move back into his building. I signed the lease and gave him two months' rent a few days ago. I'm still not even completely moved in yet. But I'm out of the hotel—thank goodness," Connie said. "And I've got stuff that's going to be mailed to me and stuff I've got to buy yet…Yeah, things are a bit crazy right now. Lupo and Bernard helped me move in for a couple days, and I bought them drinks to thank them."

"I'm so glad they helped you…You know—I'll help you, too. Just say the word, and I will," Mike said sweetly.

"Thank you, Mike. I appreciate that so much," Connie said gratefully.

"Of course," Mike said.

They made eye contact for a moment.

Then—

Connie took a step toward him.

"Connie—are you happy to be back?" he asked her.

"Yes," Connie replied softly. "Everything my mother said is true. You know moms—they know you better than you know yourself."

"Yeah," Mike agreed. "My mother is the most intuitive person I've ever known."

"I'm so happy right now," said Connie. "I really am."

"Me, too," said Mike. "God, Connie, I've missed you _so_ much…"

Connie melted.

"I've missed you very much, Mike," she said.

They made eye contact again.

"Actually…you're one of the reasons I came back…" Connie confessed. "Yes, there's calling and texting. Yes, there's email and Skype, but…my mother was right—it's not enough. It's not enough…"

Mike melted.

Could she possibly be saying what he thought she was saying?

Connie went on, "I…I thought Woll was my biggest mistake. But no. Pretending I don't feel the way I feel about you—that was my biggest mistake…But I understand that there comes a time when…I mean, I never expected you to wait for me…That's not fair to you at all…I—I won't pretend that it won't hurt me to hear that I'm too late—but I promise I'm selfless enough to be able to accept it. I'll completely understand if you've moved—"

But Connie never finished her sentence because at that moment, Mike gently took her face in his hands and kissed her.

After a moment of initial surprise, Connie kissed him in return, wrapping her arms around him. He then wrapped his arms around her.

They broke apart a little while later.

"Moved on?" Mike then said, gently touching her face. "No. Not possible."

"Mike, I've wanted to say this to you for a long time."

"What?"

"I love you."

Mike melted. He thought he would never hear those words from her. And now that had? He was simply overjoyed.

He held her close.

Connie embraced him in return, resting her head on his shoulder. She closed her eyes.

This was so right—all of it.

"Connie?"

"Mmhm?"

"Are you busy tomorrow evening?"

"Not if you're asking me out on our first real date."

"That is what I'm doing."

Connie smiled.

"I'm glad," she said.

"We can do whatever you want: dinner, a movie, both…"

"You don't have to spend a bunch of money on me, Mike. I just want to spend time with you."

"Likewise."

"Why don't we have dinner and just talk—enjoy each other's company?"

"That sounds perfect…And Connie?"

"Mmhm?"

"Above everything else—I love you."

"I love _you_, Mike."


End file.
